Random News Stories

Hunger has been eradicated in the US. Yes, you heard me right. We no longer have a problem called "hunger." It's now called "low food security". The people at USDA are geniuses, really. Now the homeless man in front of my office will be saying, "Hi, I'm hungry suffering from very low food security, can you spare a dollar?"

You know there is something either seriously wrong with CNN or seriously wrong with some of my fellow Americans when you see this headline on their website: Woman Microwaves Baby. It was on the homepage yesterday. Sad, sad world.

Does something happen to politicians after they leave office? Because it seems to me that they start making sense only when they're not in office. Powell now says Iraq is in a "civil war." Or maybe they just have more freedom to speak their mind when they leave.

And to stop North Korea from nuking the world, the Bush administration has thought of a genius plan: no more iPods for Kim Jung Il. Yeah, don't dream of them buddy. We're not going to sell them to you! Nana nana na naaaaa!

Did you know Matt Lauer is 48?! Am I the only one who thought he was 35 or something like that? His make up artist must be good.