May 14, 2006

Automatic Wudu' Machine

Is your mosque suffering from slippery bathroom floors because too many people are splashing around while making wudu'?
Do you notice that people are preforming the pre-prayer Islamic ritual in the wrong way?
Would you be interested in a tool that can help them make ablution the right way without wasting time teaching them how to do it?

Do not fear, the Automatic Wudu' Washer is here!
Coming to you all the way from Aussie land, this state of the art user-friendly technology is for all your wudu' needs. It does everything for you, without wasting or splashing too much water. It even dries you off, so no need for all those paper towels! It's clean, efficient, and very convenient for your home or business :)
(click photo to enlarge)
Order one today!

And for a limited time offer, when you order 10 AWW's, we will send you a complimentary Automatic PRAYER Chair*! Yes, you heard me, a Salat chair! Just pop your butt on the seat, strap your arms to the sides, and your feet to the bottom, and the rest is on us! The chair will move you in all the right directions. Worried about how long your ruku' or sujood will last? No worries! This amazing technology allows you to program how long your sujood and ruku' will last.

, there's more! The side of the headrest includes discreet earphones which you can put on and click on the chapter of the Quran that you would like to recite. Haven't been memorizing those verses have you? Well, no worries, the Quran recitation system is included and will help you if you stumble on a verse or two! (Heck, if you don't want to read it, just listen!)

Don't miss out, quantaties are limited
(the Saudis already ordered 5,000, enough for the whole royal family!)

Please call this toll-free number now: 1-800-LAZY-MUSLIM

[*the Automatic Prayer Chair is a figment of my imagination, but don't be too disappointed, because the Wudu' Washer really is in a store near you (if you live in Australia, but I'm sure they deliver)!]

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At 2:55 PM, Anonymous urdunieh said...

LOOOL.. really funny!

At 3:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I failed to find the humor in poking fun at the wudu & salah.

At 3:07 PM, Anonymous Big K said...

Anon: Moi is making fun of the machine, not of Wadu and Salah. Lighten up!

At 3:19 PM, Blogger moi said...

urdunieh: glad you liked it ;) now go order one!

anon: exactly what big k said; the point is to poke fun at these machines and the whole idea of trying to make something as simple as wudu seem "complicated" enough to require such technology. Sorry you didn't find it funny :)

big k : thanks, and welcome to my blog :)

At 3:59 PM, Blogger Rambling Hal said...

Hahahhaa this is hilarious, cracked me up!

Maybe we can talk more about this great technology when I get to D.C.?? I'll be there in June and would love to meet up!

Take care!

At 4:47 PM, Anonymous Nas said...

pure stupidity

At 5:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL. funnnnyyy. this is showing how tolerant the aussies are learning to become. so for those who didnt find it funny, you are so unintellectual i pity you!!!!

At 10:11 PM, Blogger moi said...

Hala -- I'm sure we'll have more interesting issues to discuss when you visit ;) Email me before you leave so we can plan!

Nas -- what can I say? We Muslims are pretty creative, lol :)

Anon -- glad you and I have the intellect to find it funny ;)

At 1:24 AM, Anonymous h. ahmed said...


very amusing :)

take care inshallah
wasalaamualaykum warhatmullah

At 2:42 AM, Blogger الفلسطينية said...

wow, this is crazy. i want to meet the person that came up with this idea so i can ask them what type of drug they were high off of when they decided to do this...

At 10:31 AM, Blogger NAR said...

I went to the site and found the picture removed for reasons related to the patent. I don't think this product will be successful it is built - who wants to put his face on a machine to have it washed?

I ideally, the Muslim will wash like the prophet pbuh, who used little water (= little splashing)

Anon who says ( so for those who didnt find it funny, you are so unintellectual i pity you!!!!). If you really pity them, you would not say it out loud - perhaps your feelings are more sinister.

I find it funny that someone thinks this invention has potential as a product and that they went as far as to file a patent. The website says this was approved by the Muslim community in Australia!

At 10:49 AM, Blogger moi said...

h.ahmed-- welcome :)

الفلسطينية-- LOL, the creativity drug!

Nar-- apparently, one of the goals of this machine is to decrease the amount of water being used. don't be surprised if you see this at a mosque near you ;) thanks for stopping by!

At 7:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is sad.
People don't even know how to make wudu anymore.
This might be funny if Uzhar usman said it.
But if it is actually going to be a marketable product then that is sad.

At 10:14 AM, Blogger moi said...

anon --lol, Azhar Usman would get a kick out of this if he picks up on it ;)

At 4:37 AM, Anonymous kirkuk said...

Moi says: " Nas -- what can I say? We Muslims are pretty creative, lol :)"

Actually the person who created this AWW is a non-Muslim. His name is Anthony Gomez and he was born in Malaysia. He's Aussie now though. Probably of the Indian-Eurasian descent.

At 8:22 AM, Anonymous NAD said...

haha lol that was really funny
nice way to express your anger for such thing :P lol
although im completely with it


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